“Along the road
Your steps may stumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights your way.”
Dan Fogelberg, “
Along the Road”
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I’ve made a big personal change that has stretched my heart, part of it remains behind with those I love and part of it has moved on, seeking some healing from wounds from those who have hurt me. Even before Dan Fogelberg’s unfortunate death this song has been in head.
Through this transitional phase we are visiting churches and each time I have received little healings, some in the form of cleansing tears, some in little surprises that God plants in my path.
I’ve had my ups and downs during the christmas season, losing what I thought was a church-home, walking away from the altar I was married at, and the font my baby was baptized at. But I have regained something I had not realized was lost. Each and every time the consecration prayers are said there have been quiet moments where God reveals himself in new ways. My ears have been opened to those familiar prayers and I hear the difference in what I’ve been stumbling over for the last 4 years.
I have been saying that next year, if all goes as planned, I was hoping that our new church would have a “Lessons and Carols” service. Our Christmas was focused on family this year, we stayed in a hotel to be closer to the celebration. There was no church, no Christ Mass, but a blessed time with my boys.
We’ve gone twice to a lovely church in North Hollywood,
St David’s. Yesterday my husband asked if we were going to church and I said, on the spur of the moment, “Let’s go to
St. Luke’s”. It really hadn’t been in my mind to do this, and I wondered if I was hedging my bets, casting around until I find “the right stuff” that caters to me. I doubt my own motives sometimes, wondering if this is the right way, or if I’m off on my own.
We walked in to the church, a lovely older building, just in time for the priest to announce that this service would be a little different, the first part would be an abbreviated form of “Lesson and Carols”. To say the least I sang my heart out.
The words of the
Magnificat read from the Gospel spoke to me of the power of God working through a humble heart.
[note] You'll need to scroll down on the page, the Song of Mary is said near the middle of Evening Prayer.
I was really overwhelmed with the idea that God had the desires and needs of my heart in mind, He spoke to me in a way that didn’t even register and set me on the course today to fufill something I have been yearning for this holiday season.
We have gates up in certain doorways to keep our little man and disaster apart. One is in the doorway to the dining room with a tile floor and many "no-no" things. The other gate is blocking access to the living room (which also connects to the dining room). 
