on the road again

I am married to a PK (pastor’s kid). He and his siblings had a very different upbringing than mine but as adults still find ways to express themselves in covert ways surrounding some subjects.

This leads to the ripest of conversations especially when one or another of them starts dating someone new. Suddenly everyone is interested in going into the missionary field, etc. Since only one or two of the kids are old enough to understand but young enough to not need to know these things, very few people have to be asked to go find something else to do.

Recently Sister-in-law #1 was bold enough to announce she had a new boyfriend to the group at a family gathering. Questions flew, of course, and she answered some, ignored some and then in a flash of brilliance chose to mention his new truck and how big it was as a distraction from a line of questions she was unwilling to pursue.

Immediately she saw the flaw in her thinking as one of her nieces started in about vehicular compensation for a lack of "God-given" gifts. This old saw was expounded on and done so in the most tasteful manner possible. The giggling ensued and everyone made their replies and observations.

I could tell that the tide was about to turn and somewhere some feeling may become involved. Being the hostess and not wanting to mop up blood off my living-room floor it seemed my responsibility to divert this conversation.

I got to thinking about how people are always pointing out big truck and making that comment. So, I decided to try out a new tack.

I interjected “Your brother (who happened to have left the room just then) who often likes to remind people he drives a really small car, generally agrees when I bring this subject up…”

The room went silent. I could see the wheels turning but not one woman could form a comeback to THAT one.

Just then Steve came back into the room to find out why it had suddenly gone quiet.

Amateurs…

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One the other hand there’s me and my thought process. I’ve lately been incensed by the latest H2 commercials that have people running to trade in their minivans for these environmentally irresponsible, gas-guzzling behemoths. The tagline to one of them is actually “Reclaim your manhood”. Subtle, tasteful, NOT.

[editorial note: that tagline was replace by “restore balance” which must be a PC way of saying the same thing.]

I have had for sometime what I consider to be the ultimate comeback for those who feel the need to own said vehicles. It stops my husband in his track each time I say it. It was a comment actually made originally to my brother-in-law Joe who does not blush so easily. It stopped him in his tracks as well. When I said it recently my husband actually had to leave the room and returned blushing furiously.

Now, for the sake of my one young reader (hey, Nomi—don’t you have something better to do than read this?) and not adding to her education I will not come right out and say what I normally say. But, upon request, I may whisper it in your wife's ear.

I’ll leave you to ponder for a moment what a “Hummer” could be named after...

Ah, but you are all so pure of heart it’ll never occur to you. Now, please, remember that commentary needs to be kept "PG"